


Time and Time Again

by seriouslythoughwhat



Series: Star Wars Time Travel AUs [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Qui-Gon Jinn Needs a Hug, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, they both get one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:34:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23182546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seriouslythoughwhat/pseuds/seriouslythoughwhat
Summary: Obi-wan is standing beside Rey from Nowhere, the light of the Force echoing around them all. He feels the presence of all the Jedi in the light. All those he has missed and mourned. The Force pours out of them and into Rey and then finally, finally, the dark falls. The Sith is no more. He lets out a breath he doesn’t need and feels the peace of the Force embrace him fully and he lets go.He expects, as so far as one can expect anything when becoming one with the force, to feel nothing and everything at the same time. To no longer be himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ben Kenobi, or anything else, but to be one, truly and finally, with the Force. He doesn’t expect to feel sensation anymore, especially not the sensation of falling.But he is, he is falling. Where, he does not know. He feels a question, an offer, made, he thinks, by the Force itself. He answers it. And then he is no longer falling per se, but rather being pulled. There are flashes of light and pain and then he is slammed into focus.He screams.Time Travel AU
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Star Wars Time Travel AUs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666594
Comments: 38
Kudos: 368





	1. Time is the Wisest Counselor of All

**Author's Note:**

> Time Travel AU that my brain demanded to be written.
> 
> Obi-Wan's mind travels back in time to his 13-year-old body post Rise of Skywalker. He tries to navigate being a child again, dealing with a Master who doesn't really trust him, and saving everything he loves. In order to do so, he must be willing to accept the help of those who love him, the question is, can he? 
> 
> Multiple POV

Obi-wan is standing beside Rey from Nowhere, the light of the Force echoing around them all. He feels the presence of all the Jedi in the light. All those he has missed and mourned. The Force pours out of them and into Rey and then finally, finally, the dark falls. The Sith is no more. He lets out a breath he doesn’t need and feels the peace of the Force embrace him fully and he lets go.

He expects, as so far as one can expect anything when becoming one with the force, to feel nothing and everything at the same time. To no longer be himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ben Kenobi, or anything else, but to be one, truly and finally, with the Force. He doesn’t expect to feel sensation anymore, especially not the sensation of falling.

But he is, he is falling. Where, he does not know. He feels a question, an offer, made, he thinks, by the Force itself. He answers it. And then he is no longer falling per se, but rather being pulled. There are flashes of light and pain and then he is slammed into focus.

He screams. 

* * *

Qui-Gon Jinn was meditating. It had been a rough couple days (weeks, months, years) and he had much to sort out. His padawan was back by his side, despite everything that Obi-Wan had done and Qui-Gon’s own resolve about it.

The moment that Obi-Wan had claimed to have realized his mistake and asked to be taken back by the order, Qui-Gon had decided that he would not take Obi-Wan back as his padawan. Despite what others said or thought, _thank you Tahl_ , it was because he knew he would never be able to trust the young man fully again. And one had to trust one’s padawan.

But then Xanatos was back and plotting and he had to work with Obi-Wan again. He was reminded, past his own confusion and hurt and betrayal, that they worked well together. The Force sang in light and joy when they did. He must do as the Force willed him. And he could admit to the feeling of pride as he saw Obi-Wan fight, mixed with the fear that he would be hurt. Both emotions felt and released to the Force. They would build their partnership back. They could. Perhaps, as Tahl had suggested to him, it would be even stronger than before.

He was pulled from his musing as the training bond (damaged, but recovering) snapped in his head with pure pain from his young apprentice. He was already on his feet and moving to Obi-Wan’s room when the screaming started. Not even a full second later he was in his apprentice’s room. He paused only to take stock of the situation. Obi-Wan was in the corner of the room, back to the wall, knees to his chest, hands on his head, and screaming. His Force signature was screaming with him. Before these details were even acknowledged in Qui-Gon’s brain, he was by the boy's side.

“Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!” He reached out with his voice and into their training bond. Or at least he tried to, it seemed like Obi-Wan wasn’t be able to hear him through his pain. Qui-Gon reached out slowly and gently rested his hands on top of Obi-Wan’s that were clutching (not clutching Qui-Gon realized with a stab of horror, ripping) his head at the temples. This seemed to get Obi-Wan’s attention. His eyes, which had been filled with pain and looking at something Qui-Gon couldn’t see, focused onto Qui-Gon’s face. His padawan was breathing heavy and the pain in the bond and his Force signature didn’t dissipate.

He looked confused, but his eyes were roaming Qui-Gon’s face almost hungrily.

“Master?” He all but whispered, his voice and breaths harsh. His hands slipped out from under Qui-Gon’s and started to reach for his face. Qui-Gon jerked back. Not because of the touch, but because the pain coursing through their bond had sharpened into all-consuming grief, then a split-second later, Obi-Wan’s eyes became empty and he collapsed like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

For a full terrifying second, he was sure the boy was dead. His presence in both the force and their training bond had disappeared suddenly. But the body in his arms was still breathing. As Qui-Gon managed to release the fear into the force, it became clear that Obi-Wan had thrown up shields around his mind and his Force signature, dulling them down to almost non-existence. Where such shielding had come from Qui-Gon had no idea, but there were more pressing things.

He went to gently place the boy on the ground to retrieve his comm in order to get help, but as he shifted to do so, he was hit with urging in the Force stronger than he had felt in a long time. _He was not to release Obi-Wan. But time was of the essence_. So after a moment of hesitation, he lifted his limp apprentice into his arms, turned, and ran.

Later Qui-Gon wouldn’t be able to really recall anything about his mad dash through the temple to the Healer's Hall. Only the thrumming of urgency in his veins and the horrible silence in his head. He had started to unravel their training bond himself a little while ago, but he had accepted it back almost desperately. His apprentice had such a vibrant mind. The absence of it as well as the Force signature that had grown so dear to him was spiking near panic through him.

He’s sure that the only thing stopping Healer Che from echoing that panic at the sight of him sprinting into the halls with an unconscious child was years of experience with such things. As it was, she ordered him to lay Obi-Wan down on one of the cots and began barraging him with questions while scanning.

Qui-Gon answered what he could but he could hardly focus. His Padawan was limp and pale and worse was the horrible silence of him in the Force. Qui-Gon kept his hand wrapped around his apprentice's wrist, feeling his pulse. It was elevated but it was there. He let out a trembling sigh of relief. 

“Master Jinn, I need you to wait in the hallway.” The Healer’s voice cut through his thoughts. He was about to protest, but before he could the Force did for him. He had never really been one for prescience, much stronger in the Living Force, but he felt it now. An echo of what had been felt before, he was _Not to Leave Obi-Wan_. His eyes widened at the same time as Healer Che’s. And he felt her surprise and acknowledgment, she had clearly felt it too. Reassuring, as Qui-Gon had feared it had been a manifestation of his own fear. 

“Well,” she said wonderingly, “I guess maybe not. That was….”

“Yes.” He replied, with more calm than he felt. “That was indeed.”

The Healer looked at him for a moment and then down at his Padawan before seemingly shaking herself. She continued to move around him, hooking Obi-Wan up to various machines and monitoring devices, treating the small wounds on he head (from where he had been _tearing_ at his head Qui-Gon acknowledged with a quickly felt and released jolt of fear), all while being very careful about not jostling Qui-Gon into losing his hold on his young apprentice. After a while, she turned to him.

“Psychic shock.” She said blandly. “And Force exhaustion. Neither of which can be explained by the account you have given me, nor by any reported happenings before today.”

“Perhaps a delayed psychic attack? One of his adversaries was quite skilled in the Mental Arts.” He still felt compelled to ask. He had to be sure, Xanatos was quite skilled and did resent Obi-Wan quite a bit.

“He was brought here after the incident, Master Jinn, if there had been something, we would have caught it, I assure you.” She replied, a gentle reproach in her words. “With no other explanation I would normally suggest reaching him with our minds, but for now I believe we should let him rest.”

He nodded, deferring to her in this matter.

“But,” she continued, “there is also the matter that even if I didn’t think he should just rest, I don’t know that we could get past his shielding, even with the help of your training bond. You said that he didn’t have such powerful shields before?”

“No,” he sighed, “not even an hour ago, he didn’t have such powerful shields to put up around his mind, not to mention the skill to extend them into his force signature the way he has.”

“I see.” She said, sounding as if she was even more confused than before. Qui-Gon empathized. “Well, for now, we can really only wait until he wakes up. You must stay by his side, apparently, and I – “ she broke off for a second and Qui-Gon sensed the Force manipulating around her in a way that suggested she was talking down a bond.

“I,” she picked back up quickly, a small hint of annoyance in her voice, “am apparently needed elsewhere. I will be back before long and certainly if he wakes up.” She held up a datapad indicating that it would notify her should that happen. “I suggest you get as comfortable as you can, Master Jinn.” As soon as he had nodded to show his understanding she had turned and strode out of the room.

He turned back to his Padawan, moving his hand that was not holding Obi-Wan’s wrist and resting it gently on his brow.

“Well, Padawan,” he said quietly, “you certainly keep my life interesting.” He brushed his hand through Obi-Wan’s short hair, gave a little tug on his braid, before withdrawing that hand. He settled on his chair a little more comfortably and sank into a light meditation, resolving to wait.

* * *

Mace Windu had a headache. That, in of itself, was not unusual. Especially recently. What was unusual, was the cause of this particular headache.

He had been doing alright. Things in the temple were settling down after the attack and a sense of normalcy had returned. Depa was back at the temple in-between missions and he had breakfast with her. It was nice to see her. He had been slowly waiting for his chance to bring up her taking a council seat, when he felt something akin to a lightning strike explode in his brain. His utensils dropped from his hand and he almost fell out of his chair.

He was vaguely aware of Depa shooting out of her chair and kneeling next to his for support, but he was more aware of the shatterpoints that suddenly came into existence around her. And around the temple as a whole. Shatterpoints don’t just appear. They don’t. Not like that. What the hell? By the time he came back to any real awareness, he was being led with a firm grip on his arm rather forcefully by his former Padawan.

“Where are you dragging me?” He managed to get out gruffly. He knew it wouldn’t phase her. She was used to his gruffness.

“The Healer’s Halls.” She said promptly.

“No, I need to speak to Master Yoda.” He put all of the authority he had into those words. She didn’t even falter in her steps. She grabbed her comm, activated it, and spoke into it. Mace tuned her out. He needed to focus on not stumbling when he lifted his eyes from her and saw the shatterpoints, none that had been there before and now were, surrounding him. What in sithhells is even happening? A spike of pain went through his head and he only just managed not to stumble with it. Depa noticed and tightened her grip, but did nothing else. He couldn’t find it in himself to care he was being pulled along like an errant youngling. After all he had to admit, the idea of some powerful painkillers from the Healer's Halls was a tempting one.

When they reached the Healer’s Halls, Vokara Che’s Twi’lek Padawan, Petra Abila, greeted them. She quietly ushered them into a room and as soon as he sat down asked in a low tone “headache?”

Mace nodded in reply. She turned to retrieve a painkiller patch that Mace would receive when he felt that he could handle the pain of a headache no longer and needed something slightly stronger than what he kept in his quarters.

“He almost collapsed from the pain.” Depa helpfully put forward. The Padawan stopped in what was a routine movement and glanced between them. Mace acknowledged on some level that such a thing was unusual for him, but really the pain in his head was making him wish that Depa had just kept her mouth shut until the Padawan had given him something for it. “Master Yoda is also on his way.” Depa continued. Mace wished she would stop yelling. Padawan Abila read between the lines.

“I will call for my Master.” She said speaking at a near whisper. Mace was grateful for it. The Padawan strode back to his side and pressed the patch down on his neck. Mace felt his shoulders relax minutely as the pain started to ebb away. Then Padawan Abila turned to leave, dimming the lights as she went.

“Thank you, Padawan Abila.” Mace called quietly after her. She shot a small smile of acknowledgment back at him before continuing into the hall. “And thank you, Depa, for seeing me here.” He continued, turning towards her. “I will be fine, perhaps we can catch up for dinner.”

Depa recognized the gratitude and dismissal for what it was. She gave her Master a worried once-over before smilingand saying “Of course, Master.” She squeezed his arm once in parting before walking out. Leaving Mace in the dark sickroom to gather his thoughts. Which was easier, now that his mind was clear of or at least less muddled by pain.

What happened to him? He hadn’t been so distracted by shatterpoints since he was an Initiate, let alone after he became a Master. It’s true headaches plague him when dealing with Looking, but he wasn’t even Looking. It just happened. And that doesn’t happen. Shatterpoints don’t just appear. That is the point of them, they are possibilities and therefore always there because there are limitless possibilities always. You can’t add on to infinity.

He could almost hear Yoda now, “Know all things, do you? Endless possibilities, know all, no one can. And yet, think you can, you do.”

He acknowledged the wisdom from the Yoda in his head, before poking around to see what had caused his headache as he hadn’t Looked. He started to sink into a light meditative state to better find answers, but the pain in his head wasn’t all the way gone and kept spiking when he attempted to examine his situation too closely. He eventually gave up when the pain was almost back to where it had been before the patch and opened his eyes just as a familiar Force signature walked through the doorway.

“Master Che.” He greeted her.

“Master Windu.” She replied in kind. “I apologize for the delay. What brings you into my domain this morning?”

He told her all he could remember clearly as well as the things that were fuzzy due to the amount of pain he had been in, while she futzed around him with a scanner. When she was done she stood in front of him with a contemplative look on her face. He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“Psychic shock.” She said and his other eyebrow rose to join its brother. That explained his symptoms yes, but absolutely not the cause. Suddenly the last time he had felt like this rose to the forefront in his mind. When Master Sifo-Dyas had resigned from the council it had caused a rather large shatterpoint to break as he was Looking, leading to him having Psychic Shock. But he hadn’t watched a shatterpoint break, had he? He supposed that he had seen them be created which he had never done before, but still.

“What time did you say this happened again, Master Windu?” The Healer asked.

“Around 0800, Master Che.” He responded. “Why?”

Before she could answer him another voice came from the door.

“Troubling, this is. Felt great disturbance in the Force around that time, I did. Coincidence, I doubt it is.” Master Yoda had arrived. He looked tired. Well, as tired as Yoda ever looked, but Mace had gotten rather good at reading the particular droop of the Grand Master’s ears. Master Che’s frown deepened.

“More, you have to add, Healer Che?” Yoda asked noticing her expression.

“Yes,” She said slowly. “Perhaps it would be best if you both came with me.” She grabbed a hypospray and unceremoniously jammed it into Mace’s arm. He held back a sigh of relief when the pain faded with the more powerful painkiller. He stood and followed Master Che into the hallway and then to another room.

He didn’t know what to expect, but he really should have guessed it would be Qui-Gon Jinn. The man did cause most of his headaches anyway. Why stop now? But also,

“Master Jinn you and your Padawan are supposed to be on your way track down Xanatos du Crion in less than a standard hour. What are you doing here?”

The question was quickly answered as Jinn shifted in his chair to face them, revealing the prone body on the medical bed. But, what? Mace had only sensed one Force signature in the room, and Kenobi was always rather easy to sense, light as he was. For a moment his mind accepted that the only reality would be that he was looking at a corpse, but the rise and fall of the boy's chest quickly reassured him (Also that Jinn looked put together, worried, certainly, but not on the edge of falling apart).

“Troubling, indeed.” Master Yoda spoke up from beside him before striding over and hopping up onto Kenobi’s sickbed. Mace was still trying to reconcile the difference between what he saw and what he sensed. Deepening his senses, he realized that Kenobi was still there in the Force, just extremely well hidden. Still, Mace fought back the impulse to go and rest his hand on the boy's chest, just to be sure. (He had some amount of affection for the boy and not just because ever since they had been paired, Jinn had seemed lighter than he had in years, even with the recent Melida/Dana situation). 

“You will have to find another pair to go after Xanatos, Mace. As you can see my Padawan is in no condition to go anywhere and I am not going to be leaving his side anytime soon.”

Mace allowed his eyebrows to rise to show his surprise. Jinn not demanding that his Padawan be left in someone else’s care so he could follow his personal mission to stop his Fallen apprentice? What a change. For the better, of course, but surprising, none the less.

“Why are you here?” Jinn continued. “If it was to hunt me down and tell me I am ignoring orders you have done so.”

 _Touchy_ , Mace thought. More worried than initially observed, but Mace supposed he would be too, if their places were reversed.

“Felt a disturbance in the Force, I did.” Yoda answered from where he stood next to Kenobi on the bed. “Master Windu as well. Came to find answers, we did. Something to say, have you, Healer Che?”

She looked startled at being addressed from where she was reading a datapad with Kenobi’s status on it.

“With permission, I will repeat the stories that Master Jinn and Master Windu told me, as well as give you my findings on the matter.”She glanced at Mace and Jinn when she spoke of them, but mostly she addressed Master Yoda.

“I consent on behalf of my Padawan and myself.” Jinn spoke up. Mace nodded his assent.

Master Che started with Mace’s story. He was prepared for the muted concern he felt from both of the Jedi Masters, as well as the light probing of his Force signature. He didn’t bother to reassure them. They would be able to feel how his signature had settled without major debilitating pain being laced through it. Hearing Jinn’s story was a bit worse. Both Master Yoda and he immediately went to probe at Kenobi’s signature, but to Mace, it felt as if he was lightly tapping an impenetrable wall. Master Yoda looked equally dissatisfied. Hearing that the Force itself had all but shouted at them that Jinn was not to leave the boy's side was shocking though. Qui-Gon Jinn, being given a feeling of prescience? Simply unheard of.

“A talent for prescience, have you, Healer Che?” Master Yoda asked. Mace doubted it, to be an effective healer one had to be seeped in the Living Force after all. Just like Jinn was famous for.

“No, Master Yoda. I never have been.” She replied immediately.

“Are we sure that’s what it was?” Mace interjected. “Although not prescience, the Living Force does regularly move both of you to do things in the now. Was it not that?”

“No, Mace, it wasn’t.” Jinn spoke up, not removing his gaze from his Padawan. “Well, partially it was. But it felt more like something terrible would happen if I did leave his side, rather than just the Force telling me I must be here for now.”

Mace opened his mouth to ask Jinn to be more specific (what kind of terrible thing, did he know?). But Master Yoda beat him to it.

“Then move from his side, you will not. Tell when to leave, the Force will. Findings, have you, Healer Che?”

“Both of them are suffering from some kind of Psychic Shock and Padawan Kenobi has Force Exhaustion, which I believe explains his current unconscious state.” She paused, considering. “For real answers, I think we are going to have to wait until the Padawan wakes up.”

“Agree with you, I do. Wait for young Obi-Wan, we must. Wait long, I doubt we will. Considerate child, Obi-Wan has always been.” Master Yoda sat on the edge of the bed.

Healer Che moved a chair in for Mace to sit down to wait. She herself moved around Kenobi’s sick be checking and re-checking things in a matter that would seem nervous for anyone else. Mace looked at the boy's face and felt his headache flare up again. He sighed, glanced at Master Yoda who had fallen into a light meditative state, then at Jinn who was looking at his Padawan as if he expected him to disappear at any second, and finally to Healer Che who tugged the cover firmly into place once more, called out to her Padawan to get her if more patients came in, and finally settled near the door to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:
> 
> "Time is the wisest counselor of all" - Pericles
> 
> I created a blog to go with this series, check it out!
> 
> iwilltrytimeandtimeagain.tumblr.com


	2. Time is a Storm in Which We are All Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan comes to consciousness, sort of. Qui-Gon Jinn reflects.

The first thing Obi-Wan was aware of was that he was laying down on a bed in a place that was familiar. Familiar, but someplace he had not been in a long time. A dear place, sorely missed. The temple, his mind supplied. Memories of the last time he had been in the temple surfaced and he was surprised that past the remembered grief and pain, the dominant feeling rising in him was panic. He had not felt panic so keenly since he was a youngling battling back nightmares, he had gotten so used to sharing his feelings with the Force and finding relative peace. But it felt as if, although his mind was used to the practice, his body was unsure how to complete it.He felt himself seize with the panic.

Almost immediately, he felt four familiar Force signatures wrap around him in comfort.

Vokara Che - _home, healing, a break from the war_ \- the least familiar but still so welcome and so missed after so long. A flash of her corpse, trying to protect her halls from the raid on the temple, quickly replaced by memories of her healing as it washed over his body, strict, but so terribly kind.

Mace Windu - _friend, older brother, guide, comrade_ \- the hours spent in the training rooms when they were free together. The first Jedi to fall because of Obi-Wan’s apprentice, but not the last. Firm, but understanding. Good advice, terrible taste in tea.

Yoda - _wisdom, friendship, guide, respected elder_ \- the one who was there for him when he had nothing, who continued to be there for him until the very end. The last with him, walking through the horrors of a lost home but so blissfully not alone. Wise until the end, standing by his side in this life and the next.

Finally, Qui-Gon Jinn - _father, kindness, amusement, unconditional love, serenity, peace_ \- the first lost and the first regained. So desperately dear and in this moment, so wonderfully alive.

All of them meant safety and security and projected it to him, quickly quelling the panic. He felt three withdraw from him until it was only Qui-Gon’s signature wrapped around his in comfort. He breathed in deep and opened his eyes.

And immediately closed them with a hiss. A murmured apology and then a voice, quiet and kind near his head.

“The lights are dimmed, dear one. Can you try to open your eyes again?”

Obi-Wan doubted he would be able to deny his Master anything ever again and complied with very little hesitation. The lights were, indeed,dimmer and he huffed out a small sigh of relief. His Master’s face swam into focus. He looked worried, but was smiling so softly at him. Obi-Wan allowed himself the comfort of reaching out with his mind and Force signature to verify that this really was his Master alive and in the flesh in front of him. He heard someone in the room give a quick intake of breath and watched as his Master’s eyes widened ever so slightly in surprise.

“Hello, Palawan.” His Master greeted him. Oh, to hear that voice and that kind tone, to be called that name again. He allowed the joy of it to fill him up, felt it, and released it easily into the Force.

“Hello, Master.” He replied warmly. He studied the man in front of him. Qui-Gon was younger than he remembered, more bronze than gray in his hair, the lines in his face not quite so deep.

“Padawan Kenobi, how do you feel?” That was Healer Che, but Obi-Wan couldn’t quite convince himself to turn his attention away from his Master. He responded to her without looking.

“My head is killing me and I -“ he hesitated. None of this made sense, but the Force was urging him to have care with what he said and to not poke at what was happening too deeply. Be truthful, but not revealing. This was real, but he needed to be well again before he could understand it. He accepted the guidance easily.

“I feel like I tried to use a Force push to lift up the entire temple at once.” He finished.

She hummed. “Did you?” She asked. “Because that would explain the amount of Force exhaustion I have found.”

He finally found the power in himself to turn away from his Master. The movement took much more effort than he would have liked. By the time he had shifted his head to look at the Healer, he was blinking exhaustion back. He frowned at her. She frowned right back, recognizing the effect the move had on him.

“Maybe not though.” She said, narrowing her eyes at him. “More like you tried to shift the whole of Coruscant from its current orbit.”

He felt the hand that was around his wrist (his Master, he was sure) tighten slightly.

“Well,” he replied, tiredly trying for levity, “I always thought our years here were a little long.”

The Healer smiled at him. He felt his Master’s amusement and relief echo down their bond. (Their bond! There, present, not as strong as he remembered it, but at least it wasn’t the horrid frayed edges of the torn one.) The Healer looked like she was about to follow up with another question but a voice interrupted her.

“An interesting opinion, that is.” Master Yoda’s voice held the small swell of amusement in it that Obi-Wan had only been able to detect after a full lifetime. “But the cause of your exhaustion, it is not. Know the cause, do you, young Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan began the process of turning his head to find the Grand Master and was very grateful when his Master’s hand came up to aide in the movement. He shot his Master a smile before focusing on the little Master. Before he could answer however something else caught his eye.

“Mace,” he found himself saying, frowning at his friend, “you’re already in the Halls of Healing. You might as well get something to quell the headache.”

He felt his Master and Master Yoda’s amused surprise at the casual address, as well as Mace’s annoyed one.Healer Che’s attention flew to Mace before she moved somewhere else in the room.

Mace, for all of his annoyance, seemed not to have anything to say and merely narrowed his eyes in suspicion at Obi-Wan. There were a few beats of silence before he spoke.

“We were talking about you, Padawan Kenobi.” There was a rather harsh reprimand in his voice that Obi-Wan didn’t understand. Before he could question it however, the Force gently redirected his focus.

“Right,” he directed his attention to Master Yoda, but quickly found it waining. _Oh_ , he thought vaguely, _I’m going pass out soon._ But he would try to answer Master Yoda first, it seemed important. “Yes, I think I do know.” He paused there as Healer Che pressed a patch against his neck. The pain in his head quickly faded away, but without it, the exhaustion seemed to increase ten-fold. But now all of the Masters were looking at him intently.

“I know, I think. Maybe?” He said, his thoughts flying away quicker than he could grab them. “I died I think, no I know, I remember dying, and being dead, but now I’m here?” He felt, as though looking through a thick a cloud, how everyone in the room reacted negatively to what he was saying. He felt like he had to reassure them somehow.

“It was okay though, it was time, my time, the Force was welcoming. And then the Force-“ He couldn’t finish the thought and they absolutely did not seem reassured.

“I’m sorry,” he found himself murmuring, no longer able to keep his voice coherent or his eyes open. “I’m sorry, I know, I just can’t, think…” Before sleep took him, he noted with vague satisfaction that Healer Che applied what he assumed was a painkiller patch to Mace’s neck.

When he wakes up next, it is to the sound of quiet voices by his bed. He can tell that a few hours have passed, but his Master still has a firm grip on his wrist. He feels like he should go back to sleep, he is certainly exhausted enough to, but something urges him to stay awake and listen. Something is important. He instinctually projects a sleeping mind, so that he can hear what is being said. He identifies the voices as his Master, Mace, Tahl, and Master Geiit (all alive. Alive!). They are discussing tracking someone. Someone? Ah, Xanatos. But, Obi-Wan and his Master were supposed to go track Xanatos (they did actually, go, and it was only kind of a disaster), not Master Geiit. Well, at least Obi-Wan could help with that.

“He’s on Telos.” Obi-Wan spoke up softly, a layer of sleepiness undercutting his words.

“Padawan?” His Master sounded confused. That wasn’t what Obi-Wan had wanted. He wanted to make things clearer for them.

“He went home.” Obi-Wan tried to elaborate. “He has support there and a plan. He was expecting us.”

“Expecting who?” That wasn’t his Master. Master Giiett? Or Mace? Or did someone new enter the room?

“My Master And I.” Whoever they are, Obi-Wan will answer them. “There was a trap. A cage, with lava, and everything. He always had a flair for the dramatic. But I think that’s more a lineage thing, not from you, Master, but I think the flair for dramatics stems from being in Master Yoda’s lineage, but I’m loosing thought here and there was something important-“Obi-Wan’s words and thoughts were slurring together and getting quieter. He was losing coherence and that was bad because there was one more really important thing they needed to hear. But sleep, oh, how it called to him.

“Obi-Wan?” That was Tahl, wonderful, kind Tahl. Qui-Gon and Master Geiit’s balance. She said his name so softly, with so much care. How long had it been since he had been cared for rather than the one who cared? Obi-Wan gathered all the strength he had to deliver what they needed to hear.

“He will have a trap set.” He was surprised by the strength in his words. “Master Geiit must not go alone and must be prepared for an unfriendly welcome.”

He could hear the echo of a response to his tone, _Yes, General._

“Knight Adi Gallia would probably be best. She’s clever and good in a pinch.” He finished and breathed out deeply. All energy leaving him, he found himself on the edge of unconsciousness, rather than sleep, annoyingly.

“But still, Master Geiit,” he whispered, his words slurring together again, “do watch out for the metal cage over the lava pit, it’s the karking worst.” He felt a curl of amusement from the named Master and then he fell into unconsciousness once more.

* * *

Qui-Gon was more lost and confused than he could ever really remember being. Even when he was a child the strength of his connection to the Living Force made it so he never truly felt lost. When Xanatos fell, he wasn’t lost or confused, he understood that he had failed in his teachings and, now, thanks in part to the young man laying on the cot in front of him, he knew that Xanatos had failed him as well.

And then there was Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon had never been lost with Obi-Wan, just stubborn and wrong. He didn’t see the truth, but he certainly saw it now. But now, right now, with his Padawan’s force signature so very different, still him, but more like the realized potential of his young apprentice, and with his words that rang so true and right in the Force that he and the other Masters couldn’t possibly write it off, Qui-Gon was lost. The Living Force was still there, with him, steady and calming as it had always been and he was still able to find peace in it, but it felt like it was waiting. Anxiously, almost. Waiting, not for his young apprentice, but waiting for Qui-Gon himself. But Qui-Gon could find nothing to guide his actions in the moment. Except that he would not leave his apprentice alone. He stayed be Obi-Wan’s side every moment, besides tending to his own needs, best he could. If he had to leave Tahl or Mace or Yoda would sit in his place, the Force seemingly accepting them as passible replacements for him always being by Obi-Wan’s side.Obi-Wan had been unconscious for four days and was only conscious on the first. Healer Che said that it was perfectly normal with the amount of Force Exhaustion he was displaying when he was awake, but Qui-Gon was feeling rather untethered.

He knew how to be patient, he was a Jedi Master for sith’s sake, but this whole situation was setting him on edge. When he sought answers in the Force it urged him with patience in the now and for maybe the first time in his life, he wished he was more attuned to what was coming rather than what was current.

When he felt Obi-Wan’s mind go from the blackness of unconsciousness to the muddled and images and thoughts of dreams, he thought he would find more stability. His Padawan’s sleeping mind was a familiar feeling, after all. But whatever the dreams were, they were not peaceful. Qui-Gon only felt bits and pieces, but whatever leaked through was laced with pain. Guilt, heartbreak, fear, and all-encompassing grief were the most common. The first three, he had felt from Obi-Wan before, and recently he had felt grief over Bruck Chun (confused as his young apprentice was at the loss of a long time tormentor.) But never had any of the feelings been so powerful, so overwhelming, that they almost brought Qui-Gon himself to tears and what he was feeling was residual.

Qui-Gon had very little to do over the past four days other than sit and go over the things past four days in detail.

His apprentice suddenly affected by some wave in the force, that only Yoda and Mace felt, the impenetrable shields that suddenly came into being around him, far greater than he knew his apprentice had. When Obi-Wan had come to consciousness with panic, all of the Masters had instinctually reached out and the feeling of relief that had echoed from his Padawan would have brought him to his knees if he had not been sitting.

And then, Obi-Wan had opened his eyes and reached out to him with his Force signature and it was so, so beautiful. The realization of the potential that Qui-Gon had only just begun to believe was within his apprentice. So bright and kind. Warm in a way he could never remember any other signature being. It felt weathered and a little torn at the edges, but it brought only light and comfort when it had reached out to him.He knew the other Masters had felt it, but none of them had any answers as to how it could have occurred.

And the declaration that his Padawan had died shook all of them. He had said it with such certainty and his words had rung true in the Force. Healer Che has gone through her scans looking for evidence that such a thing had occurred and Qui-Gon meditated through his memories to try and see if it was the case. Both of them came up empty. If such a thing had happened it hadn’t been that day. Qui-Gon knew his Padawan had many near-death experiences (too many for such a young life) but he could remember no deaths or deadly injuries that would cause the boy to declare such a thing.

Just as confusing but far more amusing was the fact that with an exhausted mind, Obi-Wan had been able to notice that Mace was in pain with just a glance, a pain that none of the Masters, not even the Healer, had been able to discern. And the way of address, much too casual and close for a Padawan, let alone Obi-Wan, who, as far as Qui-Gon knew, had only really interacted with Mace in any meaningful way recently; and that had been when Mace had put on his “disappointed Head of the Order” face and pronounced the boy on probation for the Melida/Daan situation.

When Obi-Wan woke for the second time he spoke with the power of prescience that Qui-Gon had seen only very briefly and not nearly as strong. And he spoke about Telos as though it had already happened, as if he had already gone with Qui-Gon to hunt Xanatos down (and apparently ended up in a trap). Right before exhaustion had taken him again, he had shored up his shields again and spoke with the tone of a much older being, a tone that meant he was used to being listened to. And it had worked, after all, Knight Gallia and Micah had left not even an hour after Obi-Wan all but ordered the Knight onto the mission. What else could all of the Masters do, when the Force insisted that Obi-Wan be listened to.

Between both of his Padawan’s waking moments, the boy had been awake for less than five minutes total. And yet, Qui-Gon felt as if those five minutes had completely uprooted him.

It all boiled down to waiting for answers from Obi-Wan and, really, they were just hoping he had answers. But, given that the two conscious moments created more questions rather than answers, for Qui-Gon at least, he had little hope. He got the feeling that Yoda knew more about the situation than he was saying, but he felt that about most situations in his life.

But really, more than answers, Qui-Gon just wanted his apprentice to wake up. It was hard to watch Obi-Wan be so still. Qui-Gon had decided, the second day of waiting, that he could live with having no answers so long as the boy woke up.

The door to the private room they had put Obi-Wan in opened with a hiss. Qui-Gon didn’t bother turning his head to greet the new presence, content to keep his eyes on his Padawan.

“Time for you to rest, it is. Watch young Obi-Wan for a time, I can.” Master Yoda strode up to the bed and hopped up.

“I am alright, Master, I can stay longer.” Qui-Gon protested despite knowing it was going to prove pointless in the end, no one successfully argued with Yoda.

“Alright, you are not. Rest, you must. Useful to Obi-Wan like this, you will not be.” The little Master’s voice was firm and laced with the smallest amounts of disapproval. But still, Qui-Gon did not take his eyes off of his Padawan’s slack face. He heard shifting and then Master Yoda’s face took up his whole vision. He jerked his head back on reflex from having his Grandmaster suddenly in his personal space. The old Master was looking at him with his patented "you are foolish and I am right" face. Qui-Gon fought to keep his expression neutral. He didn’t think he was all that successful and then was certain he wasn’t as a gimer stick collided gently with his head.

“Impudent Grand-Padawan, listen to me one day, you will.” The little green troll (Qui-Gon was no longer feeling particularly kindly towards the Master) narrowed his eyes at him.

“I do listen to you, Grandmaster. I fact I am listening to you right now, you once told me that Obi-Wan Kenobi’s place was by my side, I am merely trying to heed your advice.” Qui-Gon replied serenely.

Master Yoda’s eyes narrowed even further. “Follow my advice only when it suits you, you do. Rude, this is.”

Qui-Gon opened his mouth to retort but stopped when he felt shifting in the Force. Obi-Wan was waking up again.

Master Yoda automatically moved to the boy's other side. Qui-Gon leaned forward and tightened the grip he still kept around his Padawan’s wrist.

He waited patiently, never moving his eyes off of the boy's face. Obi-Wan scrunched his nose slightly before his eyes opened slowly and then blinked rapidly before his eyes found Qui-Gon’s. Qui-Gon had to hold back a sharp intake of breath. The boy's changeable blue-green eyes were so much older than a thirteen-year-old's eyes should be. They held a bit of a sad look to them, but there was such inner peace to them. Qui-Gin couldn’t break the gaze. He felt himself instinctually reach out to the boy in the Force and was not able to hold back a noise of surprise when the signature that reached back was one that was easily identifiable as that of an old man. Older, even, than him. His brain scrambled to make sense of it.

“Very interesting, this is. Who are you? Padawan Kenobi, you are not.” Master Yoda spoke up, sounding simply curious despite the impossibility of his words.

Obi-Wan has seemed to be in a sort of trance looking up at Qui-Gon. Master Yoda’s voice was enough to shake him out of it. He shifted, making to sit up. Qui-Gon immediately moved to help him adjust. He felt his Padawan send a wave of grateful affection down their bond. He sent back his utter bafflement at these events. Obi-Wan smiled at him and sent an apology to him.

_You don’t have to apologize if you can help me understand it._ He sent back, not even hesitating to switch to mind-speak.

_I will try_. The mental voice was different too, not that of a boy, but that of a man. _But I think that I must meditate before I find any real understanding of it myself, if I can at all._

Qui-Gon sent back his acknowledgment of this and after a moment of deliberation, he also sent over his immense relief at his Padawan’s conscious state. In response, Obi-Wan gave one of his blinding smiles that Qui-Gon truly wished had been more prevalent in their interactions until now.

As Obi-Wan settled sitting up so he could look at both of the Masters, Qui-Gon found himself grabbing one of the boy's hands. It was with no small amount of relief that he registered the boy give his hand a squeeze.

Obi-Wan sighed before turning to Master Yoda.

“And yet, Padawan Kenobi, I must be.” He responded with a wry twist to his lips. “I certainly have been Padawan Kenobi before and I think I am meant to be him again.”

“Padawan,” Qui-Gon brought out his best tone of disapproval. “I did not teach you to speak in riddles.”

“You might not have,” the boy (was he, though?) replied with some mischief in his voice, “but Master Yoda certainly did.”

“Blame me for bad habits, you should not. Avoiding the question, you are. No more riddles, may you speak.” Master Yoda was also using his best tone of disapproval, the one that made every single Jedi alive shrink.

It only made Obi-Wan smile though.

_Hypocrite._ The thought must have leaked across their training bond. It was thought with such overwhelming affection and a strange sense of gratitude that Qui-Gon couldn’t find it in himself to chide his apprentice for it. Immediately after, he felt his Padawan’s shields rise around him to a level that any Jedi Master would be proud to have.

“Apologies, Masters.” His voice was stronger and more formal. The voice of an adult if not for the octave being that of a child. It was a bit jarring. “But, in all honesty, my mind is in such disarray that riddles seem to be the only thing it is capable of making. Would you both be willing to give me leave a moment to gather my thoughts? I would like to speak with the clarity this situation demands.”

Qui-Gon exchanged a short look with the older, greener Master. He inclined his head.

“Understand, we do. Give you a moment, we shall. But privacy for this moment, you will not have.” Master Yoda sat down as he finished speaking, indicating that he would not be leaving anytime soon. Qui-Gon instinctively tightened his hold on the smaller hand resting in his.

“Thank you, Masters.” Obi-Wan responded with a small smile. “And I would actually be grateful for both of you and your grounding company.”

He then closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and fell easily into a light meditative trance. Qui-Gon was impressed with the ease of the transition and demonstration of a skill that, yet again, fit a Jedi Master better than a Padawan. He glanced at Master Yoda who seemed to have decided to follow Obi-Wan into meditation. He breathed a deep breath and decided to follow in their footsteps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:
> 
> "Time is a storm in which we are all lost." - William Carlos Williams
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left comments on the last chapter, I have never gotten responses on my work before (when I used to post fanfiction many years ago) and it truly made my day! <3
> 
> I apologize that it is a little short, but the break made the most sense narratively, considering everything that is about to happen next chapter. 
> 
> Check out the blog I made for this series! Ask questions, interact! 
> 
> iwilltrytimeandtimeagain.tumblr.com


	3. Time Leaves Its Mark on All of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan is a little out-of-sorts. Who knew that having your 90 something-year-old consciousness suddenly in your 13-year-old body could be so disorienting? Luckily, he is aware enough to know that if he has any hope of changing anything, he's gonna need some help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Time leaves its mark on all of us, as it marches forward. On some, they are larger and more noticeable, on others they are small and subtle. But we are all marked, all the same." - Unknown

Obi-Wan was Ben and Ben was Obi-Wan. He was a Padawan and he was a ghost. The Force was around him and in him but it wasn’t complete in the way it should be. His Master and Master Yoda were in the room with him and they were alive, more individual, more themselves, than they had been in the afterlife as ghosts. His brain was young but his mind was old. The synapses weren’t used to firing in the way they had when he was alive, his force sense so much more powerful than it had been at this age.

He could feel all of the lives of the Jedi, he could feel the living breathing tangled mess that was Coruscant. He could sense Mace, not far, headache lingering. He could sense Healer Che, closer, helping an initiate with a scraped knee. He could sense, a little further away, Bant and Master Tahl in their newly shared quarters, their partnership still relatively new. All of the thoughts and emotions were jostling him, along with a dozen warnings and guidance from the Force itself.

Not to mention there was a loud pounding in his ears. What even was that? It was nearly deafening. Neither of the Masters seemed bothered, but now that his mind had acknowledged it, he could not push it out. He spared a moment to search for the cause of the sound. It took a second, but there - oh. His heart was beating. Yeah, that was a little weird. He had gone nearly four decades without feeling a heartbeat in his chest, but here it was. Wow, it was loud.

Obi-Wan pulled his shields up a little higher and tried to find his center amongst the seemingly non-ending input of information. He called the Force to him, allowing himself to feel the currents of it rushing through him. He became aware, in that moment, that if he wished, he could rejoin the currents himself, become one with the Force truly. It would welcome him to it.

But the Force also urged him to stay, to change, to help. He grabbed onto that particular pull in the Force and allowed it to bring him out of his mediative state and back to where to Jedi Masters, seemingly getting pulled out of their meditation by something in him, were staring at him.

Qui-Gon was looking at him with a mix of awe and trepidation. Yoda was looking at him with curiosity and the slightest bit of suspicion. But both of their Force signatures were filled with anticipation. Well, then. Where to start?He vaguely remembered a conversation that would place him in 44BBY, or 975 GRA as the current time is tracked. So he was 13. Sithhells, he was just a baby. Anakin wasn’t going to be born for another 3 years. Ahsoka for another 7. Cody and Rex for another 12. Would Cody and Rex even be born? Gods, there was so much to think about. Master Tahl would die in 3. Master Giett in 11. Master Qui-Gon in 12, Genosis would kill so many in 22, including Master-

“Answer who you are now, you should.” Master Yoda’s voice interrupted his increasingly dark thoughts. Apparently, just that amount of meditation was not enough. Obi-Wan breathed the Force in, it was there, as it always was. He pushed his grief and mounting panic into it willingly and slammed down on his thoughts with a firm _Here and Now_.

“You know who I am.” Obi-Wan said. “I am Obi-Wan Kenobi.” He paused. “Did Master Giiett already leave for Telos?”

Yoda narrowed his eyes at him but seemed unwilling to reply. Obi-Wan looked pleadingly at Qui-Gon. His Master sent him a patient smile back.

“He left not long after that conversation we had. Knight Gallia went with him. That was four days ago, by the way.” Qui-Gon answered him easily.

“I see. Thank you.” He shot his Master a small smile and then thought for a moment. If his quickly spiraling thoughts seconds after waking up told him anything, it was that he was going to need help. Lucky for him, the two most trusted advisors in his whole life were here in the room with him. The Force pushed for him to be careful with his words, but that was not something that was hard. He reached out with the Force and with a tap of his fingers the privacy shielding for the room fell into place. No one would bother them, short of him flatlining, and no one could hear them.

Both of the Masters looked at him in surprise, before almost in complete sync, their faces morphed into the same look of suspicious disapproval reserved for when they knew he was up to something. Lowering of the brows, slight frown, and a narrowing of the eyes. It was the same face Obi-Wan had once seen on Dooku’s face and, if he really thought about it, one he had seen Anakin and Ahsoka make on occasion. He had to bite back a laugh as he wondered if it was also a face in his repertoire, before deciding that it absolutely was.

“My apologies Masters,” he started, not quite able to keep the amusement out of his tone, “I merely felt that the next part of this conversation should be for present parties only, I will give you the information I have and then together we can decide what to do with it?” He wasn’t entirely sure why he ended with a question. Maybe the look of their faces was making him feel meek.

Yoda broke out of the face first.

“Speak, then, you shall, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Impatient for answers, are we.”

“Yes Master, I-“ He paused, searching for the right words. How does one explain this? “I believe-no, I am-“

He sighed. “I apologize, I am trying to find the words that sound the least like I have gone out of my mind.”

“Out of your mind, you are not. Speak the necessary words, you should. Our reactions, our responsibility, they are.”

He smiled and allowed his gratitude to extend in the Force to the little green Master. He saw a slight curl of a smile in response.

Well, okay then.

“My conscious has traveled in time.” Yes, that does some it up nicely, but elaborating always helps. “I have the memories and training from an entire lifetime-“ and more “but now none of it has happened.”

He allowed that information to sink in and watched as both of the Masters’ faces went carefully blank. Ah, well, he had warned them. At least his Master has yet to draw his hand back, it was very grounding as his own words brought many memories to his mind. “I think I have been given the chance to change things, to make them better.”

“To have such a chance given, dark the future must be.” It was a prompting statement and held none of the doubt that Obi-Wan knew the old Master was feeling.

He opened his mouth and felt an immediate warning in the Force, then closed his mouth with a snap. He blinked in surprise. Then blinked more rapidly when it became clear that the Masters had felt it as well.

“Hmm... tell us of this future, you cannot.” Yoda said consideringly.

“No.” Obi-wan replied. “No, tell you of this future, I must.” He said with a shaky smile. “I think I just have to be extra careful with what I say.” But it was worrying. He wanted to ask for their help, to have a lifting of the weight that was steadily pushing down harder on his shoulder the longer he was awake. The weight of an entire galaxy. He needed their help and to get it, he had to tell them something.

Some of his thoughts must have shown, because the hand on his tightened its hold.

“Take your time, Obi-Wan. The Force is clearly guiding you and you can trust in its guidance.” His Master was clearly more stressed and confused than his tone was betraying.

“Take your time,” he repeated, “we can be patient. We are Jedi Masters, after all.” The last statement seemed to be just as much of a reminder to himself as it was to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan sent warm gratitude down their link and received warm affection back. It was just as grounding and fortifying as the hand in his grasp. He played with his words in his head, testing them in the Force. The Masters, as promised, waited patiently.

After a few moments, he decided that the name of the game was _understatement_. No mention of the Sith, that could come later. He needed them to be wary, but not afraid. Be simple and succinct. He took a deep breath and squeezed the hand in his briefly. He reached out to the force for strength against the tide of memories this was sure to bring up and tightened his shields almost to their full amount so that nothing would leak through.

“There was a war that spanned across the galaxy.”

_Hot dust and the buzzing of insects, betrayal and pain. The adrenaline of a fight-_

“We Jedi fought as Generals, trying desperately to save the republic.”

_The bright 212th gold, the calming blue of the 501st, the gray of the 104th that always meant relief, the red of 91st, charming smiles so rare, brotherhood, kind amber eyes, Cody-_

“We failed. The war was lost.”

_Thousands of lights all disappearing across the universe, his men, their small flames once so dear, all extinguished in one second as a roar of dark expanded across the galaxy, snuffing out everything that he had left, younglings dead on the floor in the one place that should have been absolutely safe, killed by Anakin, Anakin his brother, who he loved, fallen, burning, Padmé heartbroken and dying, her last words of hope, everything gone, he was nothing, certainly not Obi-Wan anymore, his friends his family had truly made him who he was that was no more-_

“The fall of the republic gave way to the rise of a cruel Empire. An Empire in which The Jedi Order was not welcome.” 

_Not that there had been many left, whichever ones survived were sought after and killed, and Obi-Wan had only been able to sense them in their deaths. More lights flickering out, overtaken by a galaxy so dark-_

“I ended up dying under the hand of the cruel Empire, but there was hope in the rise of a new republic.”

_Luke, darling Luke, his hope, his light that helped guide those long dark years of isolation, of only being aware that he wasn’t alone when another brethren fell, so bright in the Force, like his father, so kind, so good, and Leia, so strong like her mother, ready to take on anything, joined by Han, who didn’t know he could do so much good until he was already in the midst of it-_

“I had trained in the ways of the shamans of the whills, and learned how to keep my consciousness after death. I did so to help guide and aid those left alive to bring peace back into the galaxy.”

_Better memories, from when the desert hadn’t felt so lonely because his Master was by his side again, and then the absolute peace of being one with the Force, even if it was incomplete-_

“But we were deceived. From the ashes of the Empire grew another cruel regime, one that once again brought war, chaos, and darkness back to the galaxy.”

_Luke’s temple, he had been so proud, they all had, but it burned too. The rise of the new Jedi Order destroyed by the same **fucking** Sith another Skywalker taken from the light, oh Ben-_

“But still, light persevered. The second rise of the Empire was thwarted and this time, it was final. The galaxy had found peace once more and I was ready to become one fully with the Force, so I let go.”

_Rey, another lost child of the Force trying to do what she could. And she succeeded. Ben brought back to the light, the First Order and Palpatine finally vanquished. It was a moment so bright-_

“But instead, I found myself here, half-dead with Force exhaustion, and with a pounding headache that I would wish on my worst enemies.”

He couldn’t quite stop the sigh of relief that left his mouth when the rush of memories faded away. He opened his eyes (when had he closed them?) to look at two of the most influential people in his life, people who had always been there for him. They looked stricken. The grip on his hand was near bone breaking, but the slight pain helped him find his center again in the present. He knew he hadn’t been able to block his emotions from them as focused as he was on not spilling details of the past (future?).

There was a long moment of silence. Obi-Wan could feel his Master’s instinctual denial of such impossibility warring with his connection to the Living Force that was telling him everything was the truth. For the first time in over 40 years, Yoda’s face was unreadable to him.

“I know,” he broke the silence, hesitation thick in his voice, “that you probably think this is a vision, but-“

“Heard of a vision that can change a Force signature,” Master Yoda interrupted him, “I have not. Heard of a vision where feelings are as clear as living ones, I have not. Believe you, I do. Come to terms with this, I must. Meditation, I must seek, but later.”

“Oh.” Obi-Wan was stunned. He suddenly felt like the youngling that his physical age said he should be. “Oh. Could you, uh, say that again?”

He didn’t have to elaborate on which part. Master Yoda gave him a sad, small, smile; took his unoccupied hand in his (only slightly, wow) smaller hand, and lowered his voice to the same tone and pitch that it always was in the crèche after Obi-Wan had the worst of his nightmares.

“Believe you, Obi-Wan, I do. Help you with the goal you seek, I shall.”

“Oh.” Obi-Wan repeated again.

He was fully unprepared for the strange amount of relief and guilt that flooded his system. He hadn’t realized he had been so afraid of not being heard. Of, even though he had reached out for help, being left alone to try and do it all on his own. Of being so terribly alone, again. Guilt because here are the two people who have been so good to him, his friends, his guides, and he repays them by dumping the weight of the galaxy that he was supposed to bare onto their shoulders. The emotional wave was clearly strong enough to slip down the bond he had with Qui-Gon, because as soon as he had felt it, the older man made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and Obi-Wan found himself enveloped in a very tight hug. He tensed for a fraction of a second before relaxing into the very familiar embrace and Force presence.

It had been many, many decades since he had last been able to curl up into his Master's arms. He breathed in the familiar scent and found the peace and serenity that all Jedi strove for easily graspable. He breathed deep.

“I think you are telling the truth.” His Master spoke, the deep rumble of his voice vibrating the chest Obi-Wan was leaning against. “I have not quite grasped that it is the truth and all of the implications of it and my mind is still working on the believing bit, but I know you have not lied. And, Padawan, if you need my help, I am honored and joyous to lend you my aid.”

Obi-Wan was startled to be eyes started to tear up. He buried his face into his Master’s shoulder and sent all his gratitude and affection down the bond. His Master’s arms tightened for a moment before releasing him fully. His Master gave an affectionate tug on his Padawan braid as he withdrew.

“Thank you.” Obi-Wan said quietly after he had collected himself.

“Sent back without a reason, you were not. A warning, this is. Meditate on how to proceed, I shall. Do this as well, you both should. For now, vision, we say it is. Spread fear, we must not.”

Obi-Wan frowned slightly, but nodded his head in agreement before shifting to begin to get up. He was stilled by four hands. He looked between the two Jedi Masters who stilled his movement.

“You’ve been unconscious for four days, Padawan.” His Master answered the silent question. “I assume the only reason that Healer Che isn’t already in here checking you out is the privacy shielding you’ve put up. “

“Oh, yes.” Obi-Wan mused. “I would hate to deprive her another moment of poking and prodding.”

He raised his hand and waved it through the air, the privacy shielding fell with a quiet click. Not even a full minute later, Master Healer Vokara Che was bustling into the room, a look of high offense on her face. As she entered, Master Yoda gave his arm a squeeze where he had grabbed him, and moved to leave. He didn’t get far.

“A moment please, Masters.” She said, her tone the one Obi-Wan remembered well. She used it to successfully make anyone feel about 2 inches tall. A very strong “really you should know better.” It made Obi-Wan straighten instinctually, ready to defend his choices.

“I understand that this must be a delicate matter and therefore should be discussed in private. I would hope, however, that as Jedi Masters, you would know that the first priority should be the wellness of the patient. Certainly, whatever questioning you felt necessary could have waited until after I had examined my patient. You are Jedi Masters, for The Force’s sake, not impatient children, it has been four days, another half-hour wouldn’t have changed much.”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to apologize and explain that it had been him, before he remembered a very crucial detail: the privacy shields that existed in the sickrooms were activated by using a sequence on force taps onto the panel. The sequences were not taught to a Jedi until they became a Knight. Luckily, Master Yoda was quick to reply.

“Understand this, we do, Healer Che. Apologize, I do. Vision, young Obi-Wan had. Strong, it was. Yes, very strong.”

Master Che looked surprised for a moment before sighing. “I understand. Still, I urge in the future to consult me beforehand.”

With that, she approached Obi-Wan and began her barrage of scans and questions. Obi-Wan obediently answered all of them to the best of his ability, the three Jedi Masters listening intently to his answers,all the while wishing desperately for a good long meditation. 

When Master Che was done, she frowned at the datapad that had all of the information on it.

“It really must have been quite a vision you had Padawan Kenobi. I have half the thought to recommend a Mind Healer. A vision doesn’t explain everything either. I’ve never heard of a vision giving the Seer more powerful shields, for instance. Nor the level of Force exhaustion to knock a perfectly healthy boy out for four days.”

Obi-Wan looked down. Oh, he never did like lying. And it was especially hard to lie to these people, now that they were back and whole in his life. He vaguely heard Master Yoda reply, but his mind had conjured the image of Vokara Che, lying dead at the doors to her halls, her lightsaber still in her hand. He slammed his shields down as hard as he could to block out his grief and horror as the last time he had seen the Healer’s Halls played in his head.

Master Che’s first Padawan, the one that had been one of Obi-Wan’s age mate, Petra, had been by her side. Petra was here now too, he could feel her. She was alive, and he knew that. But the images were overlapping, the past or maybe the future and his current present were overlapping. In the halls had been her second Padawan, this one still a child, who he was sure had been ordered to remain behind a privacy locked door. And beyond that the injured. Those who had been injured fighting to save the republic, killed in their sickbeds, some clearly still trying to get up and fight the incursion of those loyal, good men who had been fighting by their sides for the last three years.

He felt his mind begin to spiral into bad memories and felt the control he had on his shields slip the tiniest bit. He fought back against the panic and horror, giving it to the force and trying desperately to regain his center. He learned to do it so well, back on Tatooine, when it had only been him and the sand-wastes. Why was it so difficult now? Why couldn’t he-

“-wan! Obi-Wan!” He became aware of his Master’s grip on his shoulders; of his Master’s voice echoing his name in both his ears and his mind; of three Jedi Masters looking rather distressed at him. He blinked a few times. His calm was present for the moment, but feeling as if it could easily slip away again. He took in a deep breath.

“My most sincerest apologies, Masters.” The traditional formal response came to his mouth easily, “I beg your leave to meditate a while, I find balance escaping me. I will be sure to reflect on the reasons for this in the mediation.”

All three of the Masters frowned in unison. Obi-Wan would have found it funny, if it hadn’t been out of concern for him.

“You aren’t in trouble, Obi-Wan.” His master replied. “You were unresponsive for nearly a full minute.”

“I was?” Obi-Wan repeated, startled. That wasn’t good.

“You were unaware of the passage of time?” Master Che cut in.

“Yes, I suppose I was.I’m sorry. My mind is very full right now, I do really think I need to meditate for about a week straight.”Obi-Wan tried for a smile, but felt that it probably came out much closer to a grimace.

“Then meditate, you shall. Meditate, we all should.” Master Yoda replied looking at Obi-Wan with a glint of amusement in his eyes. “A week, hm. Excessive this seems.”

Obi-Wan wanted to protest that Yoda had spent about two decades meditating on Dagobah of all places, but held his tongue. 

The Grandmaster jumped off his perch.

"To seek meditation, I go. Padawan Kenobi, stay in the Healer's Halls, you must." With that, the old Master strode out of the halls.

A protest was already on Obi-Wan's tongue, but, as if sensing it coming both Jedi Masters still in the room turned and gave him a stern look. Obi-Wan sighed. 

"May I have permission to at least use one of the meditation rooms present in the halls? I feel as if some external shielding will be necessary."

Master Che narrowed her eyes at Obi-Wan and looked him over, maybe looking for any excuse to keep him in his bed. Finding none, she sighed and nodded. Indicating that he was to use the one attached to this room with her head.

"I will be here should you need anything Obi-Wan, and I will be back in an hour to check on you. Do. Not. Overexert yourself." With that, she too turned and strolled out of the door. There was silence for a moment.

"Uh, Master?" Obi-Wan hesitated, knowing that the response to his request was going to be a negative one.

"Yes, Padawan?" His Master turned to look at him, the worry not entirely gone from his eyes. 

"My body still feels rather weak, would you be willing to help me to the mediation room?" Obi-Wan watched the look in his Master's eyes turn from worry to worried disapproval.

"I am in desperate need of mediation," Obi-Wan was quick to explain. "And without the room having shielding, I am afraid my emotions will project. You have felt some of my emotions as they are, right now, if they were to project- well, you understand." He tried for his most pleading look.

He couldn't remember if it still worked on his Master, who had become immune to such a look rather early in his apprenticeship. He had always been amused that it continued to work on Mace up until the end. He was rather pleased when the look on Qui-Gon's face transformed into resigned disapproval. 

"You will take the call button with you. And should you feel faint, or weak, or _anything,_ you will call to me down our training bond. Am I clear?"

Obi-Wan felt a bittersweet smile on his face, it had been so long since he was treated as a child, it did cause him some annoyance, but the pleasure in being able to say the two words to the man in front of him again overtook him quickly.

"Yes, Master." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Time leaves its mark on all of us, as it marches forward. On some, they are larger and more noticeable, on others they are small and subtle. But we are all marked, all the same." - Unknown
> 
> Sorry for the break. To be completely honest, my entire family got Corona which was a lot. I did write some, but I didn't post it. I don't know that I can promise to be more consistent, but I do promise that I have not abandoned this. I have Plans (TM).


End file.
